Friday, October 30, 2009

I have become one of "them"

Before I got married and had kids, I was one of those guys that came to work early, left a little later than 8 hours, never called in sick and rarely took vacation or missed work for any reason. Why? Because I hardly got sick and work was way too much fun to need a break. And of course, it was beyond my realm of imagination to lie about being sick just to get out of work. And even when I had the flu, why sit around moping at home when you could get paid at work (yeah I know I could have taken sick days).

So while I didn't exactly disdain people who were routinely out for kid-related reasons, I didn't think they were super reliable. At least not like me. Oh no, I was a rock. Want someone to work Saturday morning, sure thing! Want someone to track down a production problem at 5pm? Am your man.

So now that I have kids and in the 5 months since they were born , I can honestly say I have missed more days of work than in all my 11 years of working professionally put together. If the baby sitter doesn't call out one day, they'll have a cold. Or a cough. Or a routine doctor's appointment. Or an immunization appointment. Or the baby sitter herself will have an appointment and thus the kids have to be picked up early. And they are only just 5 months old!

Thankfully, my boss and co-workers all (for the most part) have kids. So maybe they'll be more understanding that I was. My days of 100% attendance are over. My days of carrying the max amount of vacation from year to year are over.

Friday, October 02, 2009

Obama, meet me at Camera 3 (a la Jon Stewart)

Look Mr President, would you please stop showing your inexperience? You have advisers that are allegedly experienced Washington insiders, please listen to their advise. Ok? It's not appropriate to give a visiting head of state a box set of DVDs. No matter how great those DVDs are, they simply don't have the gravitas of a presidential gift. That's #1.

#2: Please never ever give or even contemplate giving the Queen of England a CD set. Just don't!

#3: I know you want to be a man of the people, but please tell your first lady that getting out of Air Force One in shorts is simply not acceptable. It might have been a long trip but please please change into something befitting a first lady before stepping out of the palatial plane

#4: Don't insert yourself into local politics. It's beneath you and it's a zero sum game. Just like a parent should never take sides when siblings fight, stay out of local political in-fighting

#5: Don't waste your time and political credit shilling for a losing cause. Chicago didn't have a chance at getting the 2016 Olympics. All you accomplish by going was cheapen your personal worth. Do you really think Bill Clinton would have gone and not come back with the gold?

#6: I am not going to ding you too much for trying to get Patterson to not run in NY's governorship race. But please try to not leave your fingerprints of black bag political machinations like that. Ask Sleek Willy or Biden how to do it via untraceable cut outs.

That's is. You may now return your regularly duties.