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Obama, meet me at Camera 3 (a la Jon Stewart)

Look Mr President, would you please stop showing your inexperience? You have advisers that are allegedly experienced Washington insiders, please listen to their advise. Ok? It's not appropriate to give a visiting head of state a box set of DVDs. No matter how great those DVDs are, they simply don't have the gravitas of a presidential gift. That's #1.

#2: Please never ever give or even contemplate giving the Queen of England a CD set. Just don't!

#3: I know you want to be a man of the people, but please tell your first lady that getting out of Air Force One in shorts is simply not acceptable. It might have been a long trip but please please change into something befitting a first lady before stepping out of the palatial plane

#4: Don't insert yourself into local politics. It's beneath you and it's a zero sum game. Just like a parent should never take sides when siblings fight, stay out of local political in-fighting

#5: Don't waste your time and political credit shilling for a losing cause. Chicago didn't have a chance at getting the 2016 Olympics. All you accomplish by going was cheapen your personal worth. Do you really think Bill Clinton would have gone and not come back with the gold?

#6: I am not going to ding you too much for trying to get Patterson to not run in NY's governorship race. But please try to not leave your fingerprints of black bag political machinations like that. Ask Sleek Willy or Biden how to do it via untraceable cut outs.

That's is. You may now return your regularly duties.

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