Have you ever taken one of those classes in college where the final exam counts for 30% of your final grade? Where you've worked so hard and know that going into the final exam, all you need is to just write your name and you'll get a B? That even if you skipped the final, the worst you'll get is a C? I have and the feeling you get prior to the exam is sorta mixed. You can't quite let go since you really really want an A in the class. At the same time, you aren't too worked up about the final since you already have a good grade in the bag. You know that feeling?
That's the feeling I have been having the past 4 weeks. I know the twins are coming and that's a big deal. But I am not going to be doing the heavy lifting (or pushing as the case may be). We have a very good hospital, very capable doctors and I have made sure the car is gassed up (no stopping on the way to get gas). I know the way to the hospital (courtesy of the scare we had 4 weeks ago); it takes 20-25 minutes; and thus far (knock on wood) have never ran into traffic on the way there.
On the other hand, I know my life is going to change irreversibly. Even more than it changed after marriage. 'Cos what are you going to do; divorce your babies? So occassionally, I break out in a cold sweat and wonder "oh Lord, what did I get myself into?"